Fusic lip sync

Sorry folks, this is actually kind of lame-o, they changed the app and stuck me singing with some kid. Ugh. Off my stage, kid! This is MY show!!! Lol oh well, take a look anyway..

https://www.fusic.com/to/fusic?target=VIDEO&platform=android⌖_id=1793872380&ref_id=9eea9c98-1337-413f-82d7-daa84d9c8612

oh and by the way, it looks like now they made it so you have to download their app, you can't just watch the videos at the website.  poop.  i may look for other options..  and/or, i may also try just doing the "sing" option instead of lip sync, see if i can shake that dumb kid off the stage. haha.  (sorry, kid, just kidding)

fatso shopping

Today I decided today that I needed to go out and buy some new shorts.
Why?  Because, dog-nab-it, my big fat you-know-what has gotten too dern huge to squeeze into anything!
So I browse the racks, bumping up to the "chubby" size section, and take my selections to the dreaded Cubicles of Doom.  yes, the fitting rooms.  Big huge mirrors, lights brighter than the sun, totally unforgiving environment for viewing the bumps and bulges that erupt when trying on garments.  ugh.
But, there's a sweet spot... While picking out the super-sized shorts, I couldn't help but notice the cute dresses!  oh my.  And unlike the rather tailored, structured fit of the shorts, these dresses have no arguments with my waistline.. they're practically one-size-fits-all, and instead of making me suck it all in to fit a certain number on the chubby size range, these babies just SLIIIIIIIIIDE over the curves and STREEEEEEETCH over the bumps!   Kind of like a mumu.  yeah, that's it.  I need to start wearing mumus.  With big pockets for carrying a handful of peanut m&ms everywhere i go.  you never know when you might get hungry.

and yeah, this was kind of ridiculous. taking selfies in the changing room. and what's even more ridiculous...i ended up buying both of these sweet thangs, even though they'll probably just hang in the closet forever since i have no life unless wearing a dress to the grocery store is considered painting the town red.  oh well. a girl can dream.

every six months...

                                                        Every six months I dye a little.

dweeb

At Harris Teeter, buying birthday card for my sister.

Had to get this one for myself.

It's still cracking me up...just thinking about it..

why-oh-why-oh-why

am i such a dweebiac

forever stuck in middle school humor

??????

#crying

#realtears

springs of wisdom

What do I like best about my bi-weekly shrink appointments?  Is it the calming water fountain out in the courtyard?  The serene atmosphere surrounding the office and the comfortable setting inside, as well?  The soothing whirr of the small electric white noise makers strategically placed just outside each therapist's  soundproof door?

nah.

It's more of this deepening connection we're establishing through repeated visits, where she is seeing my progress, the strengthening of my resolve.  It's this great feeling I have today, where we are finally putting some defining words around this "thing", this "what I want, what I really REALLY want."  We're making progress.  She sees where I'm at, she sees the obstacles I'm up against, and she has the tools and knowledge that can help me cross that chasm.  To go from this overwhelming sense of discouraging mess, where I feel like I am powerless, have no power to be the best mother I  can be, and definitely have no access to a fulfilling, intimate relationship, to a place of freedom, where I can be who I am and strive to be even more.

Looking forward to my next session.  We plan on getting into some details, some real gut-work, if that makes sense.  Really getting in there, looking at some possible solutions, considering all the angles, and leaving me with a more informed, clearer view of where I can go from here.  I'm getting excited.  So stay tuned!

Revenge.

Friday at HB

Our last day at the beach, boo hoo!!
Time to pull out my brand new bikini, wear it for the first time, and take some selfies.  (I like to call them my "before" pictures, as I seriously need to get back in shape, in order to one day post a much much better "after" pic!!  But, until that day, time to be simultaneously vain and humiliated, as I share these with you:

                    (as i suck in my stomach, that grotesque muffin top, as hard as i possibly can!!)

                                                   At least my feet aren't fat (yet).

 Waves picked up later today, had some awesome rides on the boogie board.  Now exhausted, a bit sunburned, not looking forward to the long drive back to Cary.  oh well.  thanks for letting me share my trip with you!