so here's my story. i go to kroger after dropping off son at school. looking like the usual, just rolled out of bed stay at home mom with bed head, sloppy clothes and sleep boogers in her eyes, Yet i start noticing that these gross male grocery store employees seem to be going out of their way to say hi and acknowledge me, though i don't even look at them, just barely mumble the obligatory "hey" if i must.
so i wonder, what's the deal? then i notice my shirt. i'd thrown on a v-neck t shirt that my daughter re-gifted to me, she didn't like it and was too big for her. well, it's a tad loose on me too, so naturally that makes the "V" a big lower than usual. so THAT'S why these dirty punks are looking my way! never fails. so disgusting. i see it at home too. the eyeballs. they widen and shoot down below normal conversational eye level. that is just SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's why i mostly wear baggy clothes at home, even my pajamas are long pants and baggy huge t-shirts with an undershirt too, even in record-breaking heat waves. can't take any chances.
and that's why next time i go to kroger, i'll sport a thick turtleneck and a pair of boxing gloves. one look at me, bubba, especially below the neck, and you're toast. you iz goin DOOOOOWWWWWWWNNNNN!!!!
ugh. did i mention that men are sick and disgusting perverts?
oh and by the way, happy "thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great" day.
