all i want is for people to know my heart. my real heart. that i'm not just a mean person but a person who is finally finding her voice and needs to say some things once and for all, words that are my truths.
God is my provider.
.... truths that create a more accurate picture of who i am.
My past choices do not define who I am today. if i could go back, i'd make some other choices, but time went on, my voice got buried, things just happened, and so i aligned my life to look like the choices i made. but it was just an image. not the real me. so God. help me tear myself out of this false image, to crawl out, brush myself off, stand up on my own 2 very wobbly legs, like a newborn calf.
Don't forget what you learned when you were being tested.
i will still struggle with difficult conversations, i still try to avoid awkward, uncomfortable situations where i need to speak up and say something but i don't because i'm afraid. or i pretend it's fine and i go along with people who try to persuade me, just to please them, to get them to stop pressuring me. stop, stop, stop pressuring me.just let me choose. just let me be me.
i want my dream to come true, for once. no more settling. hear my prayer, Lord. and if my dream cannot come true, at least let me be free to be me.
"A faith that has not been tested cannot be trusted."
"Faithful obedience may lead you to your biggest obstacle in life."
(see, i did TOO pay attention in church..)
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