Numero uno rule for creating an episode of a reality tv show about your family:
Do NOT even THINK about attempting such a feat when you are in a foul mood that reeks of bitter annoyance and irritation at everything another person does.
and i'm breaking that rule.
but don't get me wrong!! there were many beautiful things in this day, this lovely day spent in downtown Atlanta...
ok, breathe deep, think pleasant thoughts. enjoy the scenery. like the Olympic Park area, where of course, the Olympics were held back when i was just a child..
..and other random specks of city skyline..
(speak in nasally, digital, snotty female tone: "Destination on your right...you have reached your destination.") Atlanta Aquarium. world's biggest aquarium.
world's biggest shark: the whale shark. swimming right above my head!
the glass tunnel of aquatic wonders...
fish lips!
Japanese spider crab. (stop looking at me like that!)
...a dragonfish.
so sure, i love everything ocean and animals, the dolphin show was great, yeah yeah.
But anyone who knows me well knows, or should know, that i really do not enjoy museums much and i HATE crowds!! Point 1: a museum is really just an artificially produced phenomenon. a building that looks and feels like any other boring institution or corporation. indoor lighting, indoor air, security checks, overpriced food and stupid plastic junk in a gift shop.
yes, i love the animals. moot point.
but drive 6 hours to walk around in a stale-air building amongst hordes of stinky people (Point 2) and crying babies and annoying strollers everywhere that get in your way, and yes my grump side is showing...
deep breath.find my happy place.
on to the Coke museum.
same game, only even more geared to commercialism. one big coke ad.
but, i can't deny, that tasting center at the end, where you go around and taste all 100 different varieties of coke products from all over the world at the end...that was fun.
(good thing the bathrooms were strategically placed nearby, 100 tastes of soda pop creates a lot of well, you know.)
and now i'll finish my rant and be done:
Top 10 deal-breakers/Annoyances/Things that made me want to SCREAM of the Day:
10. Sticking out tongue and making icky mouth noises while playing video games
9. Icky mouth noises while driving (beginning to boil inside..)
8. Tapping fingers to the beat of the turn signal. (...preparing to elbow someone in the jaw..)
7. Having to Control EV.RY.THING!!!!! such as....
6. Travel plans
5. Dinner plans
4. Driving
3. Fake happy sing-song noises when everyone else is obviously in a bad mood and it's like you're patronizing, taunting us. (preparing to tighten fist upon impact...)
2. saying "you're welcome" too often when fishing for compliments/ appreciation. (breathe deep..and..)
1. icky mouth noises. (More elbow strikes!! Superman punch!!! i'm goin' off the RAILS!!!!)
Disclaimer: I know that by airing all of my many, many pet peeves and annoyances i will surely scare off any possible interest in future relationships, as i am displaying my very keen potential at being the worlds biggest grumpy old fart EVER! oh well, i actually sort of take pride in that, for old farts are old enough to stop being people-pleasers and start being themselves and choosing what they want in life, not just trying to make someone else's life a cherry pie. nope, i'm nobody's pie.
Maybe my particularities will one day make me a frumpy old maid that lives alone, but that's ok, i can still enjoy people, just can't handle living with them.
oh and happy anniversary to me. yep, i've been happily OUT of a relationship for 3 years now. i have more comments on that subject, but i'll save that for another time.
this ends today's episode of KUWTN. stay tuned, Grumpy Old FArt returns soon! (hopefully tomorrow!)
goodnight.
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